Friday 7th October 2016. I have been invited to attend the Cheltenham Literature Festival as a speaker on a panel discussing a beautiful new anthology of sexy stories 'Desire' published by Head of Zeus and chosen by Mariella Frostrup and my agent Lisa Moylett who is also editor of the Erotic Review. An extract from The Silver Chain, the first in my erotic romance series, is published in the collection, so Lisa took me up on my offer to 'do anything to help publisise' my and other erotica writers' work.
My husband Ted comes with me, partly for moral support but mainly because for the pleasure of talking about erotica the festival offers me a hotel room for the night - my first taste of what it's like to be treated like someone important - and it would be a waste to stay there alone. The journey to Cheltenham is fraught with tension. Although I've done workshops before, it was three years ago at York Literary Festival and public speaking is nerve-wracking at the best of times.
We arrive at the Queens Hotel and are tickled to be greeted as Mr and Mrs Bond. It's a pseudonym, but for one night only it is my real identity. Later Ted is chuffed when the staff say to him, 'Good evening, Mr Bond!' We are upgraded to a suite, which makes us feel even more important. A stunning room, and Ted's eyes gleam, because he knows what a big sumptuous hotel bed does to me.
But for the moment I'm too tense to enjoy it. We check into what I was told would be the Writers' Room, but actually has a big VIP notice on the door. Finally, I am a celebrity! Free drinks, alcohol and food are on offer, but I'm still too nervous to eat. We are given wrist tags, and finally belong to the community of guest speakers!
I distract myself by going to a talk by Ian McEwan on his new book 'Nutshell'. What a seasoned speaker he is, confident, funny, but still with the slightly rumpled look of the solitary writer.
Then it's time to meet the gang. We are to meet in the VIP room and be escorted to The Times Garden Theatre for our event. Funnily enough as soon as I see Lisa, who I already know, and Anna Maconochie, the fellow author speaking on the panel, my heart rate slows to something less frenetic. The actress Anna Chancellor is there. She's going to read extracts of the book and is an absolutely lovely woman. Despite being a rather haughty character on screen, she is warm and lovable in real life and I feel we are mates - alas, just for one night!
Mariella is similarly absolutely lovely. I guess being a TV and film addict makes me star struck, but she has no airs and graces at all and in fact admits to being just as nervous as the rest of us, despite years of presenting experience. We discuss whether or not a glass of wine is a good idea. Everyone shuffles their feet, but when I say I'm going to have a small one (after days of abstinence), the others rush to join me. Ted stops me having a second one, on a stomach empty of anything except half an apple. Feeling better. Selfie time again! That's not a pimple on my face, by the way - it's the mike they've attached so we can all be heard in the pretty enormous scary space.
And so to the stage. It's 9pm. A late slot, presumably bearing in mind the content of our discussion, which will include 'f' and 'c' and 'w' words as it gets warmed up. The lights are bright in our eyes, curiously comforting because the audience of perhaps 600 odd becomes an invisible sea of heads - friendly heads, as Ted reminds me before he vanishes into their midst. They're here because they want to hear what we have to say, not to heckle or be hostile. I have some notes on the stories of the anthology I particularly liked, and a couple of quotes I want to use, but never look at them. Mariella is a pro interviewer. After a funny introduction she asks me and Anna in turn about how and why we started writing erotica. I relate how I started my erotica career as a love-lorn secretary turning rejected sex scenes into short stories when bored at work. When I sold my first to a magazine for £150, my career of short stories, novellas and novels began.
We discuss erotica as a genre, and I emphasise my enthusiasm for turning the every day into the extraordinary, with the help of inspiration and experience. Imagination as travel agent. Finding love and sex in the most unexpected places, all the more powerful for being suggestive rather than explicit. I kick myself later that I don't illustrate the power of the short, sweet and subtle by referencing one of the early mobile phone ads, when texts were just being introduced. The commercial shows a frazzled woman on an escalator going to work. She gets a text: Hello Sexy. She blushes, glances round to see if anyone has noticed (the precursor of the ebook, where of course no-one can see what you are reading). You wonder who it's from. Then the sender says: How about we send the kids to the grandparents and we go away for the weekend? So you know it's from her husband, it's loving, it takes her by surprise, and it's incredibly erotic.
We discuss the difference between erotica and porn which to me is very stark. Porn is brutal, immediate, visual, unemotional, belittling. Erotica is suggestive, imaginative, enhancing and takes you to another world. In answer to a further question, which is why is erotica necessary/growing in a world saturated by porn and sex, I reiterate that it's as meaningful as ever, designed to transport readers away from daily life, into fantasies and exotic locations , while hopefully embellishing what they will come back to in the bedroom. Actually I'm not sure I put it as eloquently as that on the night, which is annoying, but I'm sharing it with you now.
Then the floor was opened up to questions, the first being what did we all think of Fifty Shades of Grey. I leap to answer that, which is to say that while I don't rate the writing and lack of editing of the trilogy, the rest of us erotica writers have to thank the Fifty Shades phenomenon for reinvigorating the erotica market which by then was dying a death.
Anna reads one more sexy, naughty extract in her flowing, deep, humorous voice, and the session is over. Mikes are removed, high heels exchanged for trainers, and we are led across the now dark Imperial Square to the Waterstones tent, to sign our book. One of the lovely volunteers guiding us asks if he can get us anything to drink. Five heads snap round. Wine! we all whoop, in unison.
In Waterstones a small but enthusiastic queue forms, clutching the wonderful, if enormous, volume now on sale, and the four of us sign it, fortified by several glasses of wine. Some copies of The Silver Chain are also available, which I sign for anyone who wants to be introduced to the passionate love story between Gustav and Serena! By now it's nearly 11pm and Waterstones is closing, so Ted and I bid farewell to our new friends and wander back to the hotel, where we enjoy a couple more glasses before repairing to our very sexy room - perhaps to practice some of the activities that we discussed earlier...
Sharing thoughts on writing erotic romances. Thoughts and inspirations are my own.
Sunday, 9 October 2016
Tuesday, 2 February 2016
Living with Primula - by husband Ted
Living
with Primula
by
Ted Bond
By
rights Primula Bond should have given me the first fee she ever
earned, because she earned it writing her first erotic story in my
time. She was my secretary, employed by me, and she was using the
one word processor we possessed in the office back in 1995 to write
Man
in a Cage, which
was subsequently accepted by the now defunct magazine For
Women. She
was paid the princessly sum of £150 and was chuffed to bits to be
paid for something that she enjoyed so much.
She
claims she composed, typed, edited and printed the story out in the
space of her lunch hour, but I suspect that the truth is that the
lure of writing about a naked man delivered in a cage as a birthday
present to a lonely, Chardonnay drinking singleton far outweighted
the joys of drafting leases, conveyances and wills.
Every
time after that when I saw her nimble fingers tripping over the
keyboard, I wondered what smut she was composing this time, and
perhaps allowed myself the odd furtive question about what else they
were capable of doing. More poignantly, though, I had to wait
another eight years before was holding those slender fingers in mine
as we walked down the aisle.
Our own story is itself the stuff of (almost) doomed romance. When I
first arrived at a Hampshire practice of solicitors in 1991, Primula
Bond came with the package as my secretary. She was a stunningly
attractive, auburn-haired single mother. I was a battered and
bruised, prematurely grey divorcee. We had a lot in common, and
instantly struck up a very close, humourous friendship. We developed
a habit of writing increasingly risque limericks on telephone memo
pads and leaving under each other's noses when on the phone trying to
be businesslike.
She claims she fancied me almost from the word go, and when she
confided as much to one of her work mates, that mate agreed that I
had that silver fox look of a guy who 'would rip off your knickers
with his teeth.'
Poor
Primula even had one or two suggestive dreams about me in those early
days, apparently, which must have been disconcerting for her when she
had to buckle down to my dreary dictation each morning. I say 'poor'
because owing to a fairly chequered past love life she was too shy to
rush into declaring her feelings for me. She was biding her time to
pounce, in the best traditions of an erotic heroine. Meanwhile my
confidence levels were also pretty low and I was totally blind to her
blushing intentions. I thought I was her boss and friend, nothing
more, and I assumed that at 29 and 13 years younger than me, she
would never think of me in any sexual way.
So
when I upped, dated, proposed to and married another woman in haste,
a few months after we first met, Primula was devastated. She came to
the wedding as a guest and put on a brave face, but developed a
cracking migraine and says it was the worst day of her life. She
could see me but not reach me, and felt marginalised in the sea of
hats and frocks, unremarkable at the time to me and my family, and it
is to my eterntal regret that I didn't know how she felt until it was
far too late. We could have saved so much precious time. Anyway,
having seen me fly off from that wedding reception in a white
helicopter, going on honeymoon with the wrong woman, Primula was
convinced that henceforth I would only ever be the one that got away.
Certainly
she bravely continued working for me after that wedding, even though
I was now living just down the road with my new wife, and something,
life, frustration, longing, galvanised her into writing that first
story under the harsh striplights of my office, with people nattering
around the water cooler. In the calmer times of recent years Primula
still finds inspiration all over the place. She'll find ideas in a
tableau glimpsed from a rushing train, a snatched overheard
conversation, an anecdote, memories of her own travels, relationships
or bizarre temp jobs. Or she'll just pluck a random thought, an
imagined scenario from her over-active imagination. Writing is a
wonderful way of escaping the mundane, a free holiday, while
enhancing our observations.
But
what started it all off back was probably the trauma and frurstration
of seeing me marry someone else (only then to witness my obvious
unhappiness while she could only stand by and watch) combined with
her own vain search for true love in her own life. And they do say
that adversity and heartbreak are what drive the best writers.
What was the loss for those over-priced dating agencies she joined
eventually became my gain.
Either
way she remained working for me for a couple more years before
abruptly uprooting herself and her little son and vamoosing back to
London to get on with her life. When my marriage broke down after
seven years I phoned her up in her little flat in Earls Court, as she
had invited me to do. I expected her to be long gone by then,
married to some dashing City tycoon, but as luck would have it she
was free. I took her out to dinner, we talked until the small hours,
and we've been inseparable ever since. Not wishing to waste any more
time, we married just under two years later when she was six months'
pregnant with the elder of our two boys, and thirteen years on the
rest is a blissfully happy history.
Primula
has an MA from Oxford University in English Literature and since she
was about eight years old her ambition, through a varied career
including teaching children in Cairo, temping in London and, of
course, working for me, has been to write a best selling literary
novel in her real name, but until that dream comes true she is making
her way as a freelance features writer as well as proving to be
pretty damn successful at writing erotica. Her editor has been
hugely supportive of her and her work all through their journey
together from Black Lace through Accent Press to the new 'Mischief'
series at the Avon imprint at Harper Collins. And what could be more
flattering than being periodically asked, begged sometimes, to give
him another story, or another novel?
She also lends something of her more academic side as well as her
experience to providing critiques for aspiring writers of erotica,
feeling passionately about getting the basics of grammar and
construction right alongside any creative flair before submitting
work to a busy editor.
Now
to the nitty gritty of life with an erotic writer. What everyone
wants to know is, do we spend our weekends swinging from the
chandeliers, swinging in other ways, exploring al
fresco options,
dressing as tarts and vicars, investigating fetish clubs, or working
out how various Ann Summers-style contraptions work in order to be
diligent in our research for her next novel? Well, put it this way.
I still think she is super gorgeous and we are a normal, healthy,
close and loving couple who laugh a lot and have busy lives and an
energetic boyish family. Sometimes EastEnders and a takeaway is
about as much fun as we get if we're too darned tired, but we do try
to spend as much of our time as money will allow getting away from it
all, eating, drinking and pampering ourselves in hotel rooms.
Aside from all that, however, my
wife has an extremely vivid, nay graphic imagination which can
transport her far away from the deep, deep calm of the marital bed
right back to the hurly burly of the chaise-longue. And bearing in
mind that as well as all the usual content you would expect ie
overbearing bosses, lusty landladies and inexperienced lodgers,
ingenue photographers, prowling cougars, nuns, even (in her latest
work) vampires, quite a lot of her novels revolve around lesbian sex,
I can honestly say that I have no direct experience of that, being a
red blooded male and all.
Primula's love of food, clothes
and perfume is always indulged in her stories, along with her love of
exotic travel. So she takes great pride in transporting her readers
from their semi in Staines to a slick penthouse suite in Manhattan or
a back-street convent in Venice and so much the better. The
imagination is a great, cheap alternative to travelling.
As for Primula's own experiences?
Well, buy one of her books or e-books and you'll be as convinced as
her legions of fans that she knows all there is to know about
whip-lashing dominatrixes and threesomes!
One of the hilarious aspects of
our life together is that outwardly we are ordinary, respectable, fun
loving people. If you met me at work you'd think I was a typical
country solicitor and because she is tall and slim Primula at the
school gate has been known to be considered a little haughty - until
people hear her dirty laugh. But then there's this other side, the
cool looking wife who writes this explicit stuff on the side and the
husband who supports her fully in her efforts, and this dichotomy is
always a show stopper at dinner parties.
Thanks
to 50
Shades I
really think that erotica will become less and less shocking,
especially if written intelligently and well as Primula does, and
more and more just another successful genre
of
writing. Certainly at the last dinner party, with very good friends,
they women all seemed to have read 50
Shades without
batting an eyelid. So Primula, who before has forbidden her friends
from reading her books in case they never speak to her or look her in
the eye again, feels that perhaps now her books will reach more
people, and therefore make a little more money.
Primula's parents have not and
will not read her work, and would obviously prefer to see her name
emblazoned in the window of Waterstones rather than available only on
Amazon. But then so would she! As for our children, well, my grown
up daughter and son-in-law who live abroad have read her books, in
fact in the German edition (Primula is very big in Germany and
Italy!), and thoroughly approve. Primula's sister is a firm
promoter. Primula's eldest son used to be toe-curlingly embarrassed
and would turn the books back to front in the shelves when his
friends came over, and he still doesn't think it's cool, but now he
sighs and says, 'Mother, when are you going to write something
sensible so we can all retire and go and live on a tropical island
somewhere?'
Hear, hear, I say.
I
wish I could say we are constantly and vigorously researching each
and every scene of her new book, but the truth is that I have barely
seen her in the last two weeks because she has the bit between her
teeth (take whatever inuendo you like from that) trying to emulate
the current craze for erotica, kick-started by the phenomenal success
of 50
Shades of Grey. She
is either up half the night writing or leaping out of bed at 2am to
rush downstairs to get something down before she forgets the idea.
Understandably
she's driven both by ambition and downright fury that someone has
achieved overnight success doing something Primula and her co-writers
have been doing for 20 years or more.
As
for whether I ever remover her underwear with my teeth? Well, that's
for me to know and you to find out!
Thursday, 28 January 2016
Me, me, me - answering random questions about myself
Do you put any of your own likes/dislikes into your characters? i.e.: Food, photography, voyeurism?
I love using my characters as an excuse to
harp on about my own interests such as photography, food and travel.
Serena is an enhanced version of what I was l like at that age, or
how I would have liked to have been, and my other characters are
usually much better photographers, cooks and travellers than I am!
My more colourful, adventurous characters are also useful vehicles
for experiencing some of the more outrageous practices that I may or
may not have tried, or may or may not be good at! But I try to be
accurate in my description of an activity or interest, because beady
eyed readers can always spot inaccuraries. As for dislikes, those
tend to be more character traits such as jealousy, manipulation,
deception, and those are all heaped on the shoulders of the 'bad
guys' in the stories.
You were asked by Harper Collins to write the Silver Train trilogy. Did you already have Gustav and Serena in your mind?
Only
in shadowy outline. In fact Gustav started off as a vampire and
Serena was going to be his earthly, red-blooded morsel. All
similarities to Twilight characters were going to end there! So
while that initial idea wasn't suitable it sowed the seed at least of
the physical characteristics. Gustav's sinister dark looks were the
basis for his complicated past. As for Serena, as I say, she's a
kind of enhanced version of me, so she was always semi-formed in my
head. Starting the story on Halloween night gave me all sorts of
opportunity to paint a picture of the characters and play with the
idea of masks, costumes and illusions. After all, we all hold
something back when we first meet someone, especially if we think
they could overpower us if we don't keep our mystique!
Did
you travel to New York when you wrote The Golden Locket?
My
dream is one day to be rich/famous enough to travel for research
purposes, but actually I based their journey and experiences in New
York on two great holidays I've had in the last four years, once
alone with my husband at Valentine's, and once for New Year's with
our kids, and I absolutely loved it. I am longing to go back in
spring or summer, because it was DASHED cold when I was there!
Will you do any of their story in Gustav’s POV? I would love to know what he is thinking and feeling.
I
have wrestled with this idea for the third book because I can see why
readers would welcome the occasional shift of viewpoint, but on
balance I feel that having got this far without his innermost
thoughts, it would be difficult structurally and I think jar with the
flow of the narrative suddenly to interpose his thoughts. If you
think about it, we are all to a certain extent inside ourselves,
looking out. I am incredibly close to my husband, and all the world
can see how much we love each other, but I will never look out
through his eyes... and that's how it is with Serena. She's me,
she's the reader, seeing, hearing, smelling, touching our lovers who
are nevertheless separate beings. What I have done, and really hope
it communicates to the reader, is try to make Gustav come alive
physically and emotionally through Serena's eyes, especially as
their relationship is tested to the limit in both Books 2 and 3, and
ultimately reaches the heights of intensity and romance. I have also
tried to show how he gives more and more of himself, becomes more
relaxed and open, as the books progress.
Where
did the original idea for the Unbreakable trilogy (now the Silver Chain series) come from?
The
original idea started with Serena, who, like the Berocca adverts, is
me, but on a really good day. Then I closed my eyes and envisaged,
in glorious detail, my ideal man firstly in pure looks and then in
character and background. Gustav actually started out as a vampire
and I have retained the dark, mysterious, wolfish air he has about
him. While her past is not remotely like mine, Gustav's bad marriage
is based on real life stories I have been told and have wanted to
portray in fictional terms, because there really are evil women like
Margot out there... The rest followed quite naturally, once they had
come to life. The challenge lay in bringing those two characters
together in glorious locations, givin them fascinating occupations
and plenty of adventure, while keeping it real, ie exploring how two
such different people could meet, ignite, overcome threats and
sabotage, and (hopefully) live happily ever after.
How much of a challenge is it writing a series? Is there an obligation to make each book better than the last?
A
really interesting question. I was pretty daunted at the idea of
maintaining this story through three volumes, as I think some
authors find they are spreading it pretty thin if they're not
careful. At first I felt I'd given my all in The Silver Chain and
just hoped that I could find enough to put into a second and third
volume, let alone make them as good as the first. Also, at the time
of writing The Golden Locket, I hadn't yet had the reaction of
readers to The Silver Chain, so it was a bit like writing in the
dark, or with ear muffs on – no idea how it would be received! But
as the story progressed, and more characters and plot lines emerged,
I found that, as with real life, there is always more to say.
Obviously a writer's job is to condense that into a fictionalised
world, so it will be stylised and manipulated to fit the parameters
of your plan, but as an avid fan of mystery/thriller TV drama and
film, I love the idea of cliffhangers, twists, and unexpected
developments. If you leave each chapter/book on some kind of
breathless moment, the next chapter/book becomes easier to start. If
I'm honest I think that's why I enjoyed writing The Golden Locket
and the third book more than writing The Silver Chain, because 'd
already set up the main characters and situations, and now all I had
to do was send them on their logical way. So, whisper it, but yes, I
think The Golden Locket may be better! So what I'm hoping is that,
while people really loved The Silver Chain, they will go wild about
the sequels!
When
writing your novels do you outline the plot first, or do you let the
story go wherever it takes you?
A
little bit of both. I do write a synopsis, broken down into chapters.
I think a lot about it, and it helps me get over the dread of
starting a new book, because I have given myself a framework to
follow. Obviously then characters and plots will crop up which will
deviate from the path, but at least I have some kind plan to keep me
on the straight and narrow.
Location
is obviously important to your story, how do you decide where in the
world to take your characters?
After
my first taste of travelling aged 18 (camping in Biarritz), I have
loved it ever since. In fiction these locations add to the exoticism
and luxury of the story, and is also relevant to the plot, but
ultimately I weave that around places I have lived in myself, and/or
travelled to. I have lived in London, Venice and Egypt (which I
haven't written about this time, owing to current situation, but
have shifted some of the action in Book 3 to Morocco instead), and
I've visited all the other places such as New York, Paris etc more
than once. It's a great excuse to revisit favourite areas, hotels,
restaurants etc, pore over guidebooks, maps, etc, and go on the
internet to check that I'm still up to date.
If
The Silver Chain series was optioned for a TV drama/ movie, who would you
like to play Serena, Gustav and Pierre?
We
can but dream! My ultimate fantasy would be sitting in a cinema with
a vast box of Maltesers watching those opening credits! My instinct
if a film were made would be to swerve the Hollywood hype, be
groundbreaking and original, and go for gorgeous unknowns. But to
give an idea, I've always had Olivier Martinez, the French actor, in
my mind for Gustav, Josh Holloway from 'Lost', or Dominic Zamprogna
(from 'General Hospital'). They must
have
silky dark hair, haunted, Slavic cheek bones, black eyes, and the
constant hint of unshavenness. Amanda
Seyfried would make a great a red-haired Serena. Pierre would have
to be a thicker set, younger version of Gustav, the Puerto Recan
actor Sharlim Ortiz perhaps if he put on a little muscle. Polly
could be the Swedish actress MyAnna Burring who was in 'Twilight'
and also 'Downton Abbey'. Salma Hayek, Diane Lane, Rachel Weicz or
Demi Moore could be Margot, the evil but charismatic ex-wife. Tilda
Swinton could be Crystal, the enigmatic housekeeper, but she might
steal the show!
Do
you read reviews of your novels? Do you take them seriously?
I
read the first few reviews of The Silver Chain which just so happened
to be a bit lukewarm. Although I took one or two comments to heart
for the future, I found the sarcastic ones incredibly demoralising,
almost physically a punch in the gut. I had to ask why people who
came out and said they didn't like erotica were reviewing, well,
erotica, and also why they also bother to post dodgy reviews on
Twitter for all to see. Also I couldn't help noticing that the worse
the review, the worse the grammar/spelling etc of the reviewer. Just
saying. But yes, it's amazing how quickly you can lose confidence
in what you thought was good work. After that I only read the good
reviews which are sent to me by my editors and those I did take
seriously because often they showed real knowledge of the story and
characters and made valid points, and it warmed the cockles of me
heart when they seemed to fall in love with them, too!
How
long does it take to write a novel?
I've
spent the best part of 2013 writing this trilogy. I'd say the first
draft takes an average of two months to get down on paper/screen,
and then you have to wait for the editor to come back with edits and
re-writes which all in all can take another month or so. So roughly
three months. I took the summer off because I wanted to clear my
head between The Golden Locket and Book 3, and I had a writing
conference to prepare for. I am very lucky because at the moment I
only go out to work part time, so I do have whole days during school
hours to write, and when deadlines are desperate my husband takes
the boys out of the way so I can shut myself away at weekends, too.
Do
you have any writing rituals?
I
write best when everyone is out of the house. I have a particular
spot on a sofa where I write, and although I have to move around at
weekends to find a peaceful place during the week that is my writing
spot. I have loads of breaks, though, getting up to make coffee,
watching Holly and Phil on TV, checking Twitter..
What
was your favourite childhood book?
Anne
of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, Little Women. Yep, I
was that predictable!
Name
one book that made you laugh?
Bizarrely
I couldn't think of any fiction that made me laugh, but what makes me
laugh out loud every time I pick it up, especially around Christmas
time, is 'The Hamster That Loved Puccini' by Simon Hoggart, which is
a collection of both nauseating and hilarious 'round robin' letters
from smug families..
Name
one book that made you cry?
Extremely
Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safron Foer. Written through
the eccentric viewpoint of a little boy who has lost his dad in the
9/11 attacks.
Which
book would you give to your best friend as a present?
What
Was Lost by Catherine O'Flynn. Odd, strange, funny, sad. Unlikely
setting behind the scenes in a shopping centre.
Are
you inspired by any particular author or book?
I
think I wanted to become a real writer whilst reading The Magus by
John Fowles, lying on a beach on the island of Spetse where the book
was set. It's mystical, scary, oblique, poetic – all the things I
wanted to be when I was 19!
What
is your guilty pleasure read?
Hello
Magazine.
Who
are your favourite authors?
Rose
Tremain, Kate Atkinson, Julie Myerson, Penelope Lively, Ruth
Rendell...
What
book have you re-read?
Love
Life by Ray Klum. An unfaithful husband's love for his dying wife.
It's as close to fiction as a real life story can be, and hard
hitting. The kind of non erotic fiction I would like to write one
day.
What
book have you given up on?
Whisper
it. 50 Shades of Gray.
Which
actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie
rendition?
We
can but dream! My ultimate fantasy would be sitting in a cinema with
a vast box of Maltesers watching those opening credits! My instinct
if a film were made would be to swerve the Hollywood hype, be
groundbreaking and original, and go for gorgeous unknowns. But to
give an idea, I've always had Olivier Martinez, the French actor, in
my mind for Gustav, Josh Holloway from 'Lost', or Dominic Zamprogna
(from 'General Hospital'). They must
have
silky dark hair, haunted, Slavic cheek bones, black eyes, and the
constant hint of unshavenness. Amanda
Seyfried would make a great a red-haired Serena. Pierre would have
to be a thicker set, younger version of Gustav, the Puerto Recan
actor Sharlim Ortiz perhaps if he put on a little muscle. Polly
could be the Swedish actress MyAnna Burring who was in 'Twilight'
and also 'Downton Abbey'. Salma Hayek, Diane Lane, Rachel Weicz or
Demi Moore could be Margot, the evil but charismatic ex-wife. Tilda
Swinton could be Crystal, the enigmatic housekeeper, but she might
steal the show!
How
long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
About two months to get down on paper before being minutely examined
and radically changed by my editor!
What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
I
would compare these to Sylvia Day's and Nikki Gemmell's erotic
series.
What
else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
These
books are set not only in London and New York but Paris, Venice and
Morocco, too. Oh, and Devon, and while it is pretty intense stuff,
there are moment of levity, too.
Wednesday, 27 January 2016
Ask me another - a personal probe into Primula
Where
do you hail from?
I'm the third of four daughters brought up in a very conventional Catholic household in the middle of nowhere with teacher parents who had high expectations. My sisters all dropped out and rebelled in various ways, but I ploughed the goody goody path, being head girl of my convent school before my own rebellion when I became pregnant 'out of wedlock' (as my mother put it). Unfortunately my now elderly parents do not approve of my erotic writing, let alone making money from it, so I never mention it to them. I'm secretly trying to write something 'mainstream' that they could actually read.
What do you love most about your hometown?
I'm the third of four daughters brought up in a very conventional Catholic household in the middle of nowhere with teacher parents who had high expectations. My sisters all dropped out and rebelled in various ways, but I ploughed the goody goody path, being head girl of my convent school before my own rebellion when I became pregnant 'out of wedlock' (as my mother put it). Unfortunately my now elderly parents do not approve of my erotic writing, let alone making money from it, so I never mention it to them. I'm secretly trying to write something 'mainstream' that they could actually read.
What do you love most about your hometown?
I
was born in Winchester (UK) and although through the years I have
lived in Oxford, Venice, London, Cairo, London again, I have settled here
because it's near my husband's business and I was ready to leave the
hustle and bustle of London when we got married. I never wanted to
live in the countryside, either, so Winchester is the perfect
compromise: small, historic, friendly, a safe place to bring up kids,
bursting with great pubs and restaurants, countryside all around if
you're a keen walker or cycler, yet within an hour both of London and
the coast.
As
a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I
always wanted to be a writer. I was always day-dreaming and wrote a romantic novel in an exercise
book when I was eight, complete with illustrations, but had the
mickey taken mercilessly when my family read it out loud round the
supper table one night. I guess I've got my own back on them now. I
also wanted to be a jazz singer, but although I sang soprano solos in
the choir at school and once sang 'Summertime' in a Venetian bar, I
didn't have the nerve to go further and pursue it as a career. Having
said that, if X Factor, Britain's Got Talent etc had existed when I
was young free and single then I think I might have entered.
Apart from writing what are your hobbies?
Eating out, cinema and travelling. All of these feature in my novels, especially food, funnily enough. Before I married I lived on taramasalata and Chardonnay, but now I love cooking and would like to write a Primula Bond cook book one day, involving the food that Gustav makes for Serena and what they all eat in restaurants. Travelling is a passion, ever since I went to live in Egypt aged 23 and was blown away by the experience not only of a new language, culture and climate, but the idea that I was totally anonymous and could be whoever I want to be.
Anything you would want to improve/educate about yourself?
I would like to improve my French and Italian language skills.
Apart from writing what are your hobbies?
Eating out, cinema and travelling. All of these feature in my novels, especially food, funnily enough. Before I married I lived on taramasalata and Chardonnay, but now I love cooking and would like to write a Primula Bond cook book one day, involving the food that Gustav makes for Serena and what they all eat in restaurants. Travelling is a passion, ever since I went to live in Egypt aged 23 and was blown away by the experience not only of a new language, culture and climate, but the idea that I was totally anonymous and could be whoever I want to be.
Anything you would want to improve/educate about yourself?
I would like to improve my French and Italian language skills.
Tell
us about the Silver Chain trilogy.
I
was on the point of hanging up my furry handcuffs after 20 years of
writing erotica when in 2012 my editor who had worked with me at Black Lace and Mischief asked me to write an
erotic romance in the wake, BUT NOT A COPY CAT, of Fifty
Shades.
Because I was free to write it in a more literary style than previous
erotic novels I have indulged myself in the language, story line and
characters. It started as a trilogy but owing to the fourth book about to be published (28th January!) it is really a series now. The
Silver Chain actually started off as a vampire story but I was dissuaded from
that format (maybe in another series?). It's about a young
photographer, Serena, who arrives in London ready to start her career
and meets an attractive older man, Gustav Levi, who offers to help
launch her exhibition of voyeuristic portraits in return for her
company. Their relationship flourishes in an atmosphere of sexual experimentation and takes place in locations as various as London, Manhattan, Venice, Paris and Morocco - indulging my love of travel - but is threatened by Gustav's scheming ex wife and his manipulative, dangerous younger brother, Pierre, who is the hero of book 4.
Do
you have anything new in the works and can you tell us a bit about
it?
I have just finished a thriller under my real name which I have just sent to my agent, so fingers crossed she likes it. I am now embarking on book 5 of my series, which will once again feature naughty Pierre Levi and the new heroine in his life.
Is
there anything you find particularly challenging about writing?
Starting
a new novel is a really scary prospect, especially when you have a
deadline, but even worse is then having to go back and revise it with
your editor's stern requirements ringing in your ears! And obviously
the dreaded writer's block, which some people say doesn't exist, but
believe me it does. (see below). Also, organising your life so that
you can find decent chunks of time to get stuck in.
What
advice would you give to writers just starting out?
Read,
read, and read some more. See how published authors, especially of
the genre in which you want to write, do it. Make sure your work is
grammatically correct and neatly and the text and dialogue
professionally presented (study house style such as spacing and
font), otherwise a busy editor won't even pick it up off the slush
pile. Be clear about what you're writing, and by all means keep hold
of your ambition and vision, but don't rush off a 200,000 door
stopper without getting some kind of opinion on the first three
chapters (the first few lines are what will hook a commissioning
editor). Try some exercises to hone your craft, even if it's just
writing a pretend letter to or from one of your intended characters,
or using a sample chapter as a short story. Save your work every few
minutes, in case, like mine, your laptop crashes!
I
used to be dubious about creative writing classes/talks but having
been to a few, and given an erotica and short story writing workshop at the
York Festival, they are invaluable in pointing up aspects of
dialogue, character creation, conflict ,voice and pace which you
might not have thought about. Also it is hugely rewarding from a writer's point of view, spending a
day or a weekend with a community who's eyes don't glaze over
when you tell them what you are trying to achieve and readers who seem really pleased to meet you. Finally, rather
than showing it to friends or family who will be inhibited in their
opinions, think about a critique service such as the one I contribute
to, Writers Workshop. We will pull you up on any issues, advise how
to polish, and suggest possible markets.
Do
you ever suffer from writer's block? If so, what do you do about
it?
For
writers' block read PANIC! As I said, it usually strikes me right at
the beginning of a novel, or halfway through when you can't think how
to get your characters from one situation to the next. Step away from
the laptop, and forbid yourself to touch it for say 24 hours. Allow
your mind to hover and drift over your work, and the thoughts and
words will start to trickle in. Keep a notebook by the bed or in
your pocket to jot down those 'brainwaves' before you forget them.
When you feel a little more confident, come back to the laptop and
see if you can get down some kind of synopsis, so at least you have a
series of steps, a framework, to follow chapter by chapter. Also, it
helps to end a chapter with some kind of cliffhanger, because that
will give you a leg-up to the next.
Who
is your favourite author and why?
Helen
Dunmore, Rose Tremain and Rosie Thomas create absorbing characters
and worlds. Kate Atkinson writes lively, compelling thrillers.
What
books have most influenced your life?
The
Magus by John Fowles, for its creepy, dreamy, Greek settig; Garden of
Eden by Ernest Hemingway,a masterclass in pared down writing; Bridget
Jones, who opened the way to all kinds of hilarious women's fiction.
And not wanting to sound pretentious, Shakespeare's Tragedies and the
Bible!
How
did you deal with rejection letters?
Most
rejection letters are in standard format so offer no constructive
suggestions or reasons. In the early days they would really depress
me make me give up the manuscript, not forever, but for a month or
two. Then I would either rewrite the short story or book (and this is
in the days before laptops and certainly emails so this was very
laborious) or consign it to 'the bottom drawer' and start a new one.
The exception to that, and one which kick-started my erotica career,
was a rejection from Mills and Boon because my sex scenes were too
explicit, which drove me to turn that explicitness into my first
published short story!
What
tools do you feel are must-haves for writers?
A
decent laptop that doesn't crash before you've saved a morning's
work, a dictionary, The Writers and Artists' Yearbook, a place to
write where inspiration most often strikes, a coffee pot that never
stops boiling, an understanding family.
Where
do you as an author draw the line on gory descriptions and/or erotic
content?
Under
age, non consensual or injury-causing sex is a no-no. In one or two
of my earlier novels I tried to write about fairly transgressive
sexual practices involving groups and bondage and toys and
humiliation, but never felt entirely comfortable with some of the
more hardcore content, which is why some reviewers have described my
work as a tamer version of Fifty Shades. I will use a whip or a sex
aid occasionally, but prefer to focus on natural, if energetic, sex
between loving couples.
What's
the weirdest thing you've ever done in the name of research?
I
honestly haven't partaken in anything out of the ordinary myself, but
a few years ago I had to go online to find out what a golden shower
was.
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
Interview With the Vampire - We revisit Gustav Levi
Gustav Levi is the hero of my Unbreakable Trilogy, about to be re-named The Silver Chain series as his brother Pierre's story is released. In the first book, The Silver Chain, Gustav meets his heroine, the photographer Serena Folkes, and offers to
finance and launch her debut exhibition in return for her company and
sexual favours. As they get to know each other and overcome the
damage wreaked on them by her wretched childhood and his abusive
marriage, the arrangement swiftly moves past the professional, and
they become passionate lovers. From being reserved and
mistrustful, Gustav has been won over by Serena's naïve yet single
minded passion and has asked her to live with him.
But just as they are celebrating the
success of her sell-out exhibition and are making plans to travel to
New York together, Gustav's estranged, manipulative younger brother,
Pierre, appears out of the blue. With Serena’s encouragement Gustav
longs to restore their old closeness, but in The Golden Locket
Pierre's presence in their lives re-opens old wounds and threatens
their hard-won security.
I won't reveal how their story ends for those who haven't yet read the series, but to whet your appetites we're going back in time to meet Gustav halfway through their tumultuous story.
He's torn himself away from Serena's
side in their stunning new penthouse apartment on the Upper West
Side, to have a chat with us tonight.
1. The dark night when Serena first
met you she had you down as a Halloween vampire. What is your family
background?
Did she? Cheeky minx. Well, she would
make a very juicy Dracula’s victim, I must say. That beautiful pale
skin of hers. I can just imagine piercing her long, swan-like throat
with my teeth… but going back to your question, she wasn’t far
off the mark. My family did originate in the mountains and forests of
Transylvania but both sets of grandparents travelled and settled in
Paris, which is where I was born and raised.
2. How did losing your parents at an
early age and raising your little brother shape the way you are
today?
I was 15 and Pierre was 3 when they
died in a fire at our Paris apartment. I was a normal, rebellious
teenager when it happened but I had to turn myself around to take
care of Pierre. We became incredibly close as a result, which I guess
is one of the few good things that came out of the tragedy. I wanted
to prove to them and to him that I could do a good job, and that
meant making a new life for us in London, working hard to make a home
for us. But I became obsessive, I think. I wasn't with him as much as
I should have been. Without the guidance of my parents I made some
terrible choices when it came to women, too, which ultimately caused
the rupture between Pierre and me.
- Which brings us to the awkward question of your first marriage. Can you tell us a bit about that?
As the song goes, where do I begin?
With all the diasastrous couplings since the world began.Adam and Eve.
Samson and Delilah. Antony and Cleopatra. I was lonely. I was a rich
young man, living like a single father, and Margot was a heat seeking
missile. But there are no excuses. I was like any other man in the
end at that point. I was led by what's in my pants. I was blinded
with lust, but I told myself a female around the house would be good
for Pierre, too. But not long after we were married she became,
there's no other way of putting it. Toxic. A couple should enhance
each other, but we just consumed each other. She was a very strong
personality, quite a bit older than me – oh God, this is turning
into a bit of a therapy session, isn't it? Maybe I thought she would
lead me? But I should have recognised before it was too late where we
were going. I worked hard all day, and at night I'd come home and it
had become her world. She wasn't just a hyper-sexual woman. She was a
professional dominatrix. Punishment, obsession, addiction were her
bread and butter – and strangers in my house were queuing up to be
part of it. What on earth kind of menage was that?
My poor brother was left on the
sidelines. I kept it from him as much as I could, and he never, until
he was a grown man, actually witnessed anything, but of course he
sensed things were deteriorating. I sent him off to boarding school
and then university to get away from the situation, but the rot had
set in by then. It was no longer our home, or his haven. It took me
five years to recognise what was happening to us and when I found the
strength to tell Margot the marriage was over her revenge was to
carry out her threat, which started off as a joke in the early days
but became deadly serious, of corrupting Pierre and taking him away
from me, so I was left with – sorry, this chokes me still to
remember it. I was left with nothing.
- Is that personal history the reason you refused to let Serena anywhere near you without a professional agreement?
I warned Serena from the beginning, or
tried to, that my life experiences had killed my trust in people.
Either I wasn't articulate enough, or she just wasn't paying any
attention. Thank God. But I honesly thought I was no good for anyone.
I was better alone. I had been battered emotionally, and physically,
by the wrong woman, and then I'd lost the one person I loved most in
the world, Pierre. Oh, I knew deep down that not all women would be
like Margot – no-one could be as evil as her – but I couldn’t
let my guard down until Serena wandered into my life. I am a red
blooded male. I needed sex from time to time. But as soon as they
started trying to get closer, burrowing into my life, my house,
although I accept that it was natural for them, it was anathema to
me. I couldn't risk letting any woman under my skin again.
- What about the silver chain you made Serena wear when you were together? Jewellery, or restraint? Symbol of permanence, or sign of insecurity?
All the above. I can't deny it. I
wanted to give her something, but not reveal anything of myself. I
wanted it to symbolise our agreement, and to make sure she wouldn't
get away. She had never had any jewellery, so the bracelet I gave
her to hook the silver chain on to was the first precious thing she'd
ever owned. She was furious when I once left her chained in the house
in Lugano, but the little wildcat chopped it off with an axe or
something and got the chauffeur Dixon to disobey orders and drive her
to the airport! Secretly I saluted her for that show of defiance,
even though it was my fault for leaving her there. Anyway, it became
part of our life. And a very kinky part of our lovemaking. It still
is. But I'm planning to give her another special piece of jewellery
for Christmas..
- Serena comes from a very different background from yours. What, apart from the obvious physical attraction, is it that draws you to her?
Maybe that’s exactly it. Her total
individuality and.. difference. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever
met. And as for her background, that's an unknown. She was adopted by
a pair of monsters. She was a little newborn foundling. I would love
to know what her biological background is. No-one has ever come
forward. I suspect she comes from someone beautiful, artistic and
big hearted, because how else has she come through all that neglect
still determined to find someone to love? I guess that’s your
answer. She doesn’t even know it, but she has this fire, this
determination, to see the beauty in life, not just through her camera
lens. I’ve never thought of it before, but you could say she’s
the polar opposite of my ex-wife, and that's why I'm so lucky to have
found her. Serena turns her strength of spirit into something
positive, and she’s pulled me into her orbit as well
7. You and Serena had a business
arrangement which became personal. What was the moment when you fell
for her?
Everything in my life has to be written
down, a contract. Since my parents died. It’s my clumsy way of
feeling safe, I suppose, and my arrangement with Serena, though it
looks ridiculous now, had to be on the same terms. She doesn't know
this but she was the missing piece of my jigsaw, and that lightbulb
moment was when she was standing in my gallery after we'd signed that
contract. We were just leaving, and she stopped beside my favourite
photograph, entitled 'Rapunzel', which was part of an exhibition of
sepia images of French prostitutes awaiting their turn in a bordello.
I collect pre-Raphaelite studies and sketches, and she looked so like
the beautiful, pre-Raphaelite girl in the photograph, that face
that's so mournful when in repose, those rivers of golden
treacle-coloured hair – it took my breath away. I reckoned she was
the face I'd been searching for. My pet name for her, when we're
alone, is Rapunzel'.
8. She's younger than you. What has she
taught you?
She's brought a kind of fresh air into
my life, light, sunshine, an incisive viewpoint. She surprises me
every day with how beautiful she is and how much she loves me, even
though she had to work so hard to win me round. She's actually like a
magic camera. You see life differently when you're with her.
9. You have made your fortune now. Are
you ready to retire?
I could retire tomorrow. Financially
that's true. But I'm only just 40, so there's no way I'm going to sit
around doing nothing, especially with such a young girlfriend to keep
on my toes. And she would tell me I was an old git if I did, to use
her charming turn of phrase! If the businesses are in good hands and
Serena's photography is launched, I would like to extend my
pre-Raphaelite collection and also to launch a trust fund related to
the arts which could benefit abandoned children.
10. When you're not acquiring
businesses and properties, what are your hobbies?
Travelling and cooking for pleasure,
rather than necessity. My current project, when we have time, is
teaching Serena to cook. She can just about boil an egg. And I love
drawing and sketching.
- What's next now you're both ensconced in New York?
Well, most of that is under wraps for
now. We have some tentative meetings with Pierre to negotiate, now
that he's come back into my life. He's been living and working in New
York all these years, and the most extraordinary coincidence is that
he's been dating Serena's cousin Polly. So I'm determined to find a
way to forgive each other for what's happened in the past. Serena's
my othe priority, of course. She already has several prestigious
commissions here from people who have seen her work in London, and I
aim to stand back and let her make her own way.
- Tell us an unusual thing about you?
I play jazz trumpet. Pierre plays piano, and we used to jam in little clubs around London before I met
Margot. Not even Serena knows that, and please don't tell her. I'll
surprise her one day, but I haven't played since I met my first wife.
She thought it sounded stupid.
Tuesday, 19 January 2016
Meet Rosa, the new heroine in 'Pierre'. Here she has a pep-skype with her sister
‘Flirt with him.
Bustle about. Bend over a lot. Are you sure he’s not getting a
hard-on every time you swish by in your tight little uniform?’
I think of the
unmistakable reaction when I washed him that first morning. The soft
shape warming up, firming up in my hand like a delicious pastry.
Any man with red
blood in his veins would get hard, being handled like that. It was
nothing special. I unzip my dress. As soon as the expensive, silky
embrace falls away from me I stop being the poised, confident woman I
was when I was wearing it.
‘I think he quite
likes me, but it’s just a job, Fran. I’m just his carer, a
servant really, just like I am to all the other spoiled, rich malades
in that clinic.’
‘Don’t be so
tough on yourself, cara. You’re coming down after your
glittering performance tonight, that’s all. Anyway, if this Levi
bloke won’t look at you twice, someone else will. You’re a catch
for anyone.’
‘Maybe. It won’t
be that long before he’s discharged or I’m sacked or I quit. I
won’t see him again and then I can go properly hunting.’ I hang
up the dress, aware that if the connection is working my sister can
see me in my bra and knickers. ‘Look, Fran, I can’t chatter on.
The signal’s hopeless tonight. You might all be chilling out over
there in New York, but I’ve got to get some sleep. I’m absolutely done in.’
‘How did the gig
go tonight? You look great, by the way. Although satin and silk isn’t
normally your style?’
‘I was going to
pick up something from the Kate Moss range at Top Shop but my
employers insist on high-end cocktail dresses so they sent me to Bond
Street. They give me a credit card and a personal shopper. The dress
code at the club is very strict for everyone on the premises, staff
and members alike. They’re all men.’
‘Who, staff or
members?’
‘All the members
are men. And most of the staff. They have to wear black tie. Or white
tie, if they have military medals, no matter what time of day it is,
because the idea is that the minute you walk through those doors you
are in another zone. Day and night become meaningless.’
‘Classy! Or
pretentious. Sounds like the Starship Enterprise!’ Francesca
chortles. ‘All a bit antiquated, though, isn’t it? Black tie?
What’s wrong with kilts, or some sharp tailoring? They sound like a
bunch of pompous gits. So where is it again?’
I reach into the
thin fitted wardrobe for my kimono. If I don’t cover up it won’t
just be my sister who sees me semi-naked. If I don’t close the
shutters on these portholes anyone motoring down the river or walking
along the embankment at this time of night can see me, too.
‘I’m not
supposed to say, but you know what? I don’t give a shit. It’s the
London branch of the Club Crème.’
And here's a random pic of a cool Italian...
Monday, 18 January 2016
Wow! magazine interviews Pierre Levi as he recovers from his near-fatal accident
This is the first interview Pierre Levi has given since being badly injured in a hit and run in central London. We visited him at the exclusive Aura Clinic where he was transferred out of intensive care. Thank you for seeing us, Pierre. Can you tell us how bad your injuries were and how you're doing now?
Let me count the ways. Cracked pelvis. Two broken legs. One femur, one ankle. Nothing else broken. She saved the face,apart from the black eye.
You mean the driver? We understand that Margot Levi was driving the car.
Yes. My ex sister in law. My ex lover. She ran me down deliberately.
And the police are looking for her in connection with the accident. Why do you think she did that?
I think because she wanted my brother back and if she couldn't have Gustav she'd make sure no-one did. But then I came galloping to the rescue so hey, why not kill both birds with the one stone? Thank God it wasn't Gustav.
But the injuries are healing now?
Bones heal, don't they? But the real scars are inside. In my head.
That's pretty intense. What do you mean?
Nightmares. I make quite a spectacle of myself, apparently. I keep these poor nurses on their toes But it's not Margot causing the nightmares. It's me. What I've been like in the past. I made life hell for the people I should have been looking out for. Get this. I broke my brother's heart not once but twice.
How did you do that? And why?
I ran off with Margot, his first wife. Yep. The same woman who tried to run me over. How mad is that? Gustav and I were estranged for five years. Then I tried to break up him and his new girlfriend by seducing her.
Why?
Margot Levi persuaded me. Both times. And I was bitter and twisted enough to go along with it.
She sounds like a very powerful influence.
I was very young the first time. Totally bewitched. But the second time? It was her idea, sure, but I took it and ran with it, no question. I knew exactly what I was doing. What started off as a sick joke became a genuine addiction. I was mad about her.
Who? Margot Levi?
No. Serena Folkes. Gustav's fiance.
But you didn't succeed? I mean, they're still together?
They're unbreakable. You'll never witness love like it. I think that's why I wanted to destroy it. I was jealous. Still am. But I'm paying for all that now.
That sounds harsh. Maybe even a little self-pitying?
I don't pity myself. I pity everyone who comes into contact with me. I deserve everything she's thrown at me.
Who? Serena?
Ha ha. No. Margot. By rights I should be dead. At the very least maimed for life. It's my punishment for everything I put them through. I'm rotten. People should stay away from me.
Ah, looks like matron is cutting short our interview. Two more questions. You've had to pull out of the reality show pilot you were making in LA before this happened. What do you think the future holds? I mean, professionally?
Haven't you heard? The waters close over your head if you're out of circulation creatively. What's your second question?
You famously revelled in your playboy image. Are you looking for love again?
You mean, a love I can call my own rather than trashing other people's?
Simple, really. The love of a good woman. You won't be short of offers once you're on your feet again.
Are you flirting with me?
Oh, that came out wrong, I - well, maybe?
Cute, but listen up, sweet pea. I'm not safe to be around. I should have a health warning slapped on. Women can steer well clear. I don't know what's in my future, but I'm not up for any involvement. Apart from the fact that my body is fucked. No. Celibacy is definitely the way forward.
You heard it hear first. Pierre Levi plans to join monastery.
Funny. I'd laugh if it didn't hurt so much. Can I take your number?
Let me count the ways. Cracked pelvis. Two broken legs. One femur, one ankle. Nothing else broken. She saved the face,apart from the black eye.
You mean the driver? We understand that Margot Levi was driving the car.
Yes. My ex sister in law. My ex lover. She ran me down deliberately.
And the police are looking for her in connection with the accident. Why do you think she did that?
I think because she wanted my brother back and if she couldn't have Gustav she'd make sure no-one did. But then I came galloping to the rescue so hey, why not kill both birds with the one stone? Thank God it wasn't Gustav.
But the injuries are healing now?
Bones heal, don't they? But the real scars are inside. In my head.
That's pretty intense. What do you mean?
Nightmares. I make quite a spectacle of myself, apparently. I keep these poor nurses on their toes But it's not Margot causing the nightmares. It's me. What I've been like in the past. I made life hell for the people I should have been looking out for. Get this. I broke my brother's heart not once but twice.
How did you do that? And why?
I ran off with Margot, his first wife. Yep. The same woman who tried to run me over. How mad is that? Gustav and I were estranged for five years. Then I tried to break up him and his new girlfriend by seducing her.
Why?
Margot Levi persuaded me. Both times. And I was bitter and twisted enough to go along with it.
She sounds like a very powerful influence.
I was very young the first time. Totally bewitched. But the second time? It was her idea, sure, but I took it and ran with it, no question. I knew exactly what I was doing. What started off as a sick joke became a genuine addiction. I was mad about her.
Who? Margot Levi?
No. Serena Folkes. Gustav's fiance.
But you didn't succeed? I mean, they're still together?
They're unbreakable. You'll never witness love like it. I think that's why I wanted to destroy it. I was jealous. Still am. But I'm paying for all that now.
That sounds harsh. Maybe even a little self-pitying?
I don't pity myself. I pity everyone who comes into contact with me. I deserve everything she's thrown at me.
Who? Serena?
Ha ha. No. Margot. By rights I should be dead. At the very least maimed for life. It's my punishment for everything I put them through. I'm rotten. People should stay away from me.
Ah, looks like matron is cutting short our interview. Two more questions. You've had to pull out of the reality show pilot you were making in LA before this happened. What do you think the future holds? I mean, professionally?
Haven't you heard? The waters close over your head if you're out of circulation creatively. What's your second question?
You famously revelled in your playboy image. Are you looking for love again?
You mean, a love I can call my own rather than trashing other people's?
Simple, really. The love of a good woman. You won't be short of offers once you're on your feet again.
Are you flirting with me?
Oh, that came out wrong, I - well, maybe?
Cute, but listen up, sweet pea. I'm not safe to be around. I should have a health warning slapped on. Women can steer well clear. I don't know what's in my future, but I'm not up for any involvement. Apart from the fact that my body is fucked. No. Celibacy is definitely the way forward.
You heard it hear first. Pierre Levi plans to join monastery.
Funny. I'd laugh if it didn't hurt so much. Can I take your number?
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